A lot of my closest friends right now are in the boat of relationship breakups. I still can’t believe that it’s happening to them because I admire them the most when it comes to relationships. As their ever loving listener to their
ever classical problems, I learned and realized that a relationship that is not God-centered has a big probability to sink. It’s like riding a boat with a small, unnoticed hole underneath. Slowly, the hole becomes bigger and bigger, pulling you deeper until you sink to the bottom.
Here’s my favorite classical illustration I learned way back when I was 13:
The figure is self-explanatory. A man and a woman, even if you consider how close they are in their relationship, will always have an unexplainable gap between them if they do not have God in the center. This gap makes a relationship unstable and uncertain. If you’re going to ask me how am I going to explain certain relationship success stories without following this figure, I tell you it’s either they are focused on success, fame, money or other earthly things. These things are what we call temporary or personal or mutual preferences.
Imagine if these temporary things were removed in their relationship. Do you think the relationship would still be able to survive? I don’t think so. Just watch television or read online articles about relationship break ups and you’ll understand that the cause of their breakups or separation are temporary things: things that are not centered in God.
A true relationship is a God-centered relationship. If both of you are seeking God first, problems, tragedy, misunderstandings, and jealousy can be solved easily. You do not need these temporary things to be happy and successful.
If a man or woman seek God first, understand the true meaning of a God-centered life and walk in God’s grace, there would be no relationship breakups that will happen. What’s the meaning of a true God-centered life? It is living a life giving glory to God in everything that you’ll do.
Tell me if these things glorifies the Lord:
- Cheating on your boyfriend / girlfriend
- Giving more time and priority to computer games or other addictive stuffs than to have quality time with your partner or worst to have no time with God
- Personal preferences and insecurities as if there’s no God that secures your life and your future in your relationship
- Premarital Sex (Sex outside marriage)
These are general reasons why relationship breakups happen. If you’re in the right kind of thinking and attitude and you seek God first, do you think you’re capable of committing these kinds of sinfulness or selfishness? Do you think God will give you a big smile if you’re doing or going to do these kinds of things?
If you’re entering a relationship, remember that it’s not a game. It’s a way of life. It’s supposed to be long-term and a serious matter. But I tell you: if you’re going to seek God first as the center of life, all things will follow. Your relationship with your partner will follow.
As partners, encourage one another to be closer to God, rather than to insist yourself to your partner. The greatest gift you’ll ever give your partner is to bring him/her closer to God, who’s the author of life-long relationships.